Overheard ...

Cradle of civilisation means the place where civilisation began to flourish.Civilisation was able to thrive because it had what it needed.

One answer on Wiki answers to the question: "What does Cradle of civilisation mean?"

I have been thinking about this for quite a few days. But it has been a conscious continuation of subconscious leanings I've had for years ... Allow me to explain:

On a recent, very lovely, trip to Kew Gardens, I overheard 4 remarks addressed to children that made my toes curl and my insides broil.

• "Don't run!" was the first, shouted after a little girl who had taken off down the path, with Mousy tucked safely under her arm. She had places to be and sights to explore with her friend. Grandpa wasn't going fast enough. The path was smooth and visibility clear. I so badly wanted to ask: "why not?". In this wide open space that invites running, exploring, undoing the chains and restrains of city living and cramped spaces. Why not run and test the boundaries of those strong little legs, the fairly forgiving grass, the ever present gravity, the many indulgent passers by? In this safe place, why not run?

• "Don't squeal!" in a stage whisper to children playing catch. Their delight at being chased and escaping capture, expressed in high pitched squeals of delight. Sure it was loud. But it was the perfect setting: Balmy summer day, wide open spaces, friends to revel in. Why not express delight in the moment? It seemed an entirely appropriate response!

• "Do as you are told. You are too young to think!" to a small boy wanting to try pressing the elevator buttons himself. The explanation following this was that the man who spoke this was also too young to think for himself, his partner taking this important role for him. And I wondered to myself whether that explanation was for the benefit of those of us stuck in the lift with them? A way to lessen the embarrassment? I have been in countless elevators with small children and though alarm buttons have been pressed, or the wrong floor number, or even the close door button instead of the open, disaster never found us. And my own children have learnt to operate elevators very well, with only minimal instruction. But they have needed to think for themselves whilst doing this. Things like: "Am I supposed to be in here? Where do I want to go? How do I resist the temptation of the yellow bell button?" I rely on them thinking for themselves and figuring out how things work, how they fit into the world and discovering which consequences they are willing to live with. For example scraped knees caused by running faster than the wind and losing to gravity and feet not keeping up, might be an acceptable price to pay. 

• "Be a good boy for your uncle today!" said to the same small boy in the elevator. (I had to fight the urge at this point to invite him to spend the day with us, riding elevators, running on the path, letting out whoops of delight and above all, thinking for himself!) This statement always has the ability to shock me. I understand what is being said, I think: "behave in pleasant ways, don't rock the boat, don't question authority, don't draw attention to us, comply" But the words stick in my throat. I believe in our innate goodness and our ability to choose abhorrent behaviour regardless. So, even though I'd love to see this instruction to be good as a reminder of our nature, it rarely evokes this response in me. (I know, the rebel in me is still alive and kicking up a huge, non-conforming fight!) 

These statements, or rather, commands, have left me pondering our relationship with children. Do we see and value their ability to know instinctively what we have been taught to forget. The way to enjoy discovering the world, preferably with a cuddle animal or friend along for the ride. To test the limits of our bodies and environment. The joy in the moment and the free and indiscriminate sharing of that joy.

And if we have forgotten these precious truths, what messages will be passing on to our children. I'd like them to think for themselves and learn all they can. To express themselves freely and learn to do so appropriately, whilst never doubting their goodness.

I believe that the future of civilisation lies within these tiny and perfectly formed hands. (Actually, I believe it lies in their minds and their ability to think clearly.) Will they have all they need to ensure the thriving of civilisation? How can I equip them better? Will I be willing to be lead by the leaders we are creating by stifling freedom of expression, exploration, creativity and above all thinking?

So many thoughts ... I'd love a simple answer please

Disclaimer: I have told you what I overheard. I don't agree with what was said ... I think I made that clear. However, I don't know the people who made these statements and I have my own, go to supply, of foolish things I say to my own children. 

There is always context and I cannot judge the people saying these things ... because I don't wish to be judged when my words are overheard. I simply want to let you into my thoughts on overhearing these statements. And I want always, to be alive to the extraordinary potential in the people around us, be they advanced of aged or on the youngish side!