Ascribing Value ...

In February, we had this incredible opportunity to go on a family road trip in South Africa (a.k.a. the Motherland). And in our eagerness for this holiday adventure, we made our many preparations: Friends invited, check ... Flights and insurance sorted, check ... Birth certificates copied and translated, check ... Pets and plants taken care of, check ... Accommodation and itinerary sorted, check ... Bags packed, check. Finally, because we live in the Magic Kingdom and Enchanted Forest (more about that another day) ... House sitter, check. This final point took care of a few things on our list: pets, peace of mind, plants etc. Since moving to our own little paradise, in a quiet village, we have heard frequently that it would be foolish to leave our home unoccupied for the duration of our trip. So we dutifully (and a bit skeptically) found someone willing to occupy our space and take on the duties listed above. We thought we were doing them a favour ...!

Fast forward to 5 days into our trip. Valentine's day and a Sunday. And the message we weren't expecting at all. Our home had been broken into. Chaos left behind. What might be missing?

And here the process started ... trying to ascribe value to the things we had left behind as we set of on our African adventure, to determine what had been stolen.
We were informed that they had ransacked our wardrobe and there was jewellery spread out. And again we were asked about what was valuable and what might have been stolen.

My first thoughts was, it must have been this:

It was a gift from my Mother-in-law for our wedding and the only thing I own of real monetary value. Surely it's value is plainly visible? And much as I hoped that it had been overlooked, I made peace with it being gone. It was surprisingly easy to do. Perhaps I never really valued it?

And my second thought: I hope it wasn't any of these:

A gift from a special group of friends and a connection to a place I love

A gift from another friend, handcrafted for me

A gift from my husband and middle daughter, brought back from a trip

Bought on another trip with another friend

It was impossible to know exactly what had been stolen. We had some photos emailed to us. Along with the surprising news that the laptops and mobile phones were all accounted for. And seeing that we are notorious for never having cash with us, we assumed we hadn't left any lying around.

So, apart from the shock and the damaged door, we assumed we had gotten off quite lightly and the burglars had made off with the most valuable item in the house. 

Fast forward again to a conversation with my brother as we were waiting for our flight home, where I told the story and our assumption about what was taken. I re-iterated my belief that the expensive jewellery was lost and that I was ok about it. And that we had gotten off really lightly. He disagreed and steered my thoughts in a new direction. What had been taken might have not had a very special value for me, but it was an heirloom, that should be passed on through the generations and therefore it was a huge loss. I had honestly never thought about this, but now I certainly was and I felt a little sad for this current and future loss.

After arriving home and unpacking a bit and dealing with some laundry and and and, I finally got around to checking what was lost. (This involved unpacking every shelf and drawer and re-packing it all. A time consuming process.) And all the while I was waiting for that sense of a loss of privacy, a violation of some kind, anger etc. to set in. But it never did. Which surprised me a bit. (I learnt that I don't really place a high value on privacy and private property.) And an even bigger surprise: None of the above mentioned things were stolen after all ... hence being able to photograph them today. Which led to a few jokes about foolish burglars, feeling grateful that what I had decided was valuable after all was still in our possession, and the scratching of the head kind of mystery: What, if anything, was taken? ( the list was very short: gold coloured items and cash amounting to 5€)

And months later, I am still asking questions about this. Especially as we had a second, or so we thought, break in a few weeks ago. (The hamster had triggered the newly installed motion detectors,  that triggered the alarm, that triggered an sms being sent to my phone.) We were away (I know, by now it sounds like we are never home!) on the trip I mentioned in the previous blog and because it involved sailing, I had left this behind:

My wedding, engagement and anniversary rings

I burst into tears at the thought of my rings being stolen. And based on our past experiences, the gold items were what was of value to burglars. But they were infinitely more valuable to me because of the promises and commitment they symbolize. And the memories they carry with them.

The questions I am left with are: How do we ascribe value to objects? Is monetary value ever an accurate determiner of value? Why do different people see differing values in the same objects?

My emotional responses to the potential losses and actual losses informed me clearly about where I placed value and I will continue questioning how it shows my internalised value system. But it has also caused me to pause and think more broadly about what I value and how value is ascribed to people, things, places ...

There has been such a spate of comparisons on social media, in the form of: "In a world full of Kardashians, be a ..." And I can't help wondering how we come to our conclusions about the intrinsic value ascribed to "a Kardashian" vs "another". 

I want to be someone who finds the extraordinary in everyone. (I'm not sure I have any real relationship with the things in our lives, other than to appreciate them for their function. But maybe I need to value some things a little more as well?) And not as the function of a comparison ... "you are more ... than this other person" or less than, or any other comparison we can think of. How about: "I am so glad you were born because you add value to my life and the world by being/ doing ..."

Please bear with me for a final photograph:

Spools and sleaves

There is a monetary value to these parts, obviously. And it is calculable. However, when I see these parts, their value is immeasurable! After all, how can you measure the value of my husband's heart? His desire to create something of excellent quality that will add value to the final product, while adding value to the lives of those involved in all the steps of production, shipping etc.? His hope for the future? The countless hours thinking, dreaming, worrying? It is close to impossible, but easier when you know my husband!