Looking deeper


“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” —Kahlil Gibran


I have always loved these Russian nesting dolls. The bright colours, the intricate patterns and the unpacking of that which is hidden. All very appealing to me. And recently I've heard and seen a few things that reminded me again of these dolls and what they represent to me ...

Night time in the Müller household has taken on a familiar, comfortable pattern that seems to work well to preserve our sanity. After our joint evening meal, our children are sent to bed invited to experience the wonders of rest. (Always too early if they are to be believed!) Once the final round of tidying of the day is completed, the last emails responded to and some brief interactions with social media, Markus and I talk about the day. The highs and lows and the bits in between. The things that inspired us or challenged us and how we were moved to anger, sadness, bursting joy as a result of it all. It is one of my favourite parts of the day and desperately needed to maintain connection in these busy times. (Just to be honest here ... sometimes this time lasts all of 5 minutes as we are too tired, used up or hopeless after the harder days ... then we just re-affirm our commitment to be in this together and move on the the next bit of the day.)
And it is in this setting, that I have recently been doing a lot of reflecting. While we wind down by watching a series together (some of our current favourites are: Person of interest, Criminal Minds - Across Borders, Once upon a time, The Blacklist and Bones ... a rather eclectic mix) I find my mind wandering along different tangents sparked by bits of action, dialogue or scenery.

"Of course you taught me how to love. You taught me how to see everything. See everyone. And I do. But I see thousands of versions of them. What they were, what they are, what they could be. And what is love, if not being seen?" The Machine in Person of Interest, talking to Harold, his creator

This segment of dialogue has occupied my thoughts for a few weeks now. Have I learnt to love in this way? To see everything and everyone? And not just the image of themselves they present to the world, but to look beyond and see who they are, underneath that image, or hidden within that image? And what they could be ... how much time do I devote to considering the best outcome, the inherent potential in the people I cross paths with?

And where I have chosen not to engage to this level, but reduce people to the sum of what they post on Facebook, why? Could it be because of this:
"Your belief in love was not strong enough to overcome your fear of rejection." Mulan in Once upon a time

It is so much more comfortable to assume that everyone is able to fully communicate their true selves. That they feel safe to do so. That they have found their voice. And therefore to leave the full responsibility for "being seen" in their hands.
But what if an invitation is needed? A safe place needs to be created? Can I walk away from the full glory of someone's life and be satisfied with not loving? It seems like that is the way in which we all, ultimately, lose!

I'd like to be alive to the wonder of every layer I'm privileged to see and be part of the extraordinary unpacking of ourselves


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